Editor’s Note: I updated this article with a fresh introduction and extra guidance to help parents disciple their kids.
When we think of discipling our kids, we often picture focused moments like studying the Bible together, attending worship, and dropping them off at Sunday School. These are foundational practices, and they matter. You can read more about building a simple routine in A Realistic Family Bible Study Routine and why gathering with the church matters in Why Taking Your Kids to Church Matters. But true discipleship goes beyond the Bible stories in our curriculum and church programs. Our everyday choices shape our children’s view of faith, because whether we realize it or not, our kids are always watching.
Daily interactions
A Familiar Story
Our boys wake up on a Saturday morning ready for a day full of fun, adventure, and some good old-fashioned TV watching. We eat breakfast, and the boys run straight to the living room to turn on the TV. In her best laid-back weekend voice, my wife reminds them they have some cleaning responsibilities since that’s what we do every Saturday morning. Nothing happens. No movement. Just three faces giving their full attention to Doc McStuffins. Then I calmly and confidently walk by them as they stare at their show, to give them the same reminder.
Next, one of us tells them to start cleaning even louder. Still no response. At this point, I’m ready to show them who’s boss and get things moving. I turn the show-off and loudly tell (yell?) them to start cleaning before they lose shows and anything fun for the rest of their lives! Then, our youngest is crying. The older boys look at me and say – you didn’t need to yell at us, Dad. You should have just asked us nicely.
Our kids are watching. How we interact and react is being learned and repeated. Discipleship often happens in those ordinary moments of everyday life.
Flip the Script
The flip side is that these daily interactions are a wonderful opportunity to teach our kids what Jesus is like. What if we ask God to give us the strength, through the power of his Holy Spirit, to respond with the Fruit of the Spirit? Paul writes in Galatians 5:22+23,
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”
This is how we WANT to respond. And these are the responses that are going to give our kids a picture of the transformation the Gospel brings as they watch their parents changing right before their eyes.
Check out my article – Everyday Ways to Point Your Kids to Jesus.
Showing forgiveness
Even when we lose our cool or fail to model Christ well, God’s grace is still at work.
Check out Colossians 3:12+13
“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other, as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.“
These moments become opportunities to show our children what repentance and forgiveness look like in real life:
Disagreements at home
Name calling
Outbursts at the dinner table – kids and adults
Somebody doesn’t get what they want
When your child comes home upset about something that happened at school
These situations are opportunities for us to forgive just like God has forgiven us. It really does change our perspectives in any situtuation.
Check out my article – 5 Bible Verses to Show Our Kids the Importance of Forgiveness.
Prayer Life
Our kids get a front row seat to our prayer lives. We need to teach our kids how to pray, but it’s just as important to show our kids how to pray. This works best with my family as we have set times to pray daily, like at meals and prayer time after family devotions.
Everyday Opportunties
Prayer also happens in the moment, like when someone wakes up with a bad dream, before something special at school, a big event, or during any stressful moment. Prayer is one of those vital parts of the Christian life that can’t just be taught in a programmed way. You teach and you practice it, day after day. Pray with your family and for your family. And then do it over again the next day.
Jesus Teaches Us How to Pray
One helpful tool that we have is The Lord’s Prayer taught by Jesus in Matthew 6:9-13 “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.”
The Lord’s Prayer helps to keep the focus on God. The prayer prioritizes his kingdom and his will. It also focuses on the daily bread we all need to sustain us. It teaches us forgiveness based on the forgiveness that God has provided for us in Jesus. And it pleads with God for deliverance from temptation and evil. It’s God-centered. And it addresses everything we need as a family. And for that reason, it’s worth using to guide our family’s prayer life.
Serving Others
I’m going out on a limb here and saying that learning to serve one another instead of serving ourselves is a major struggle in most of our homes. Why? Because our human nature is naturally bent to wanting to be served. Look at me! Listen to me! Please do this for me! Indeed, when it comes to our children, a significant part of this is natural and inherent to human development as they mature into adults. But our sinful natures take this to another level.
Jesus Teaches Us How to Serve
Consider Jesus’ words in the Gospel of Mark 10:42-45:
“You know that those who are considered. rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. But it shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you just be slave of all. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.“
The motivation to be self-serving is natural for our kids (and us), but that doesn’t mean we just go with the flow and let that keep happening. God has redeemed us through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus and he has given us his Holy Spirit to empower us to overcome sin. We don’t have to sit back and just accept our sin issues.
We have the power to look at the sin, confess the sin, and take steps to move in a different direction. And I believe that the family structure is one of the best environments to learn this. God has given us the family context to love each other, enjoy each other, and sharpen each other to be instruments that are used to bring about glory to him and good to our world.
Helping Kids Apply God’s Word at Home
Many parents finish a Bible story feeling encouraged, but still unsure what to do next. The story was helpful, but the connection to everyday life can still feel unclear. One simple way to move beyond Bible stories is to ask one intentional follow-up question that connects God’s Word to real life.
After reading a passage together, try asking – What would trusting God look like for us this week because of what we just read?
This question shifts family discipleship from information to formation. Instead of only talking about what happened in the story, you help your kids think about how God’s Word shapes the way they live, speak, and respond.
When you read about God’s faithfulness, consider talking with your family about something you’re trusting Him for this week. A story about forgiveness can lead to a discussion about a relationship at home or at school where forgiveness might be needed. And when you read about God’s provision, look for ways to encourage gratitude instead of complaining.
This does not need to become a long conversation. One short and honest discussion is often enough.
The goal is not to force an application from every passage. The goal is to help your children slowly learn that the Bible speaks to real life, not just church life. Over time, these small connections help your kids understand that following Jesus is not only about knowing Bible stories. It is about learning to trust and obey Him in ordinary moments.
Final Thoughts
When I was growing up, there is a phrase that I heard many times – practice makes perfect. It’s a solid one-liner that amplifies the idea that working hard for something, even when you don’t feel like it, can help you become great at it. I don’t think anybody literally meant you’d be perfect at it. But it is one of those phrases that was repeated so many times that I didn’t even pay attention to it anymore.
So when my older son came back from his first few days of preschool, he had a phrase that he learned from his teacher that was both familiar and new, all at the same time. The line was – practice makes progress! What an encouragement for a four-year-old going to school for the first time. He didn’t have to be perfect to be celebrated. He had the freedom to work towards something without an unrealistic expectation of perfection.
Perfection Is Not Required
But it’s also an encouragement to parents! We’re never going to get this discipleship stuff perfectly. Only Jesus did that. There are going to be mistakes, frustration, and even sinful attitudes as we raise our kids. I believe that the main thing we can do as parents is to keep our eyes on the prize, or the big picture, of what God is accomplishing in and through our family.
Only God Can Change A Heart
Fellow parents, we are well aware that we do not have the power to change our children’s hearts and actions, but we believe that our intentional efforts to point them to Jesus will yield beautiful results. God is in charge. He is sovereign. He will use our successes AND our failures for His glory.
Discipleship Resources
Family Discipleship: A Biblical Guide for Parents
10 Short Verses Kids Can Memorize
Why Taking Your Kids to Church Matters
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